The other side of the deadbeat dad phenomenon is the many fathers fighting for their children everyday. We hear very little of these fathers because of the fascination by the media to report all of the men who are clearly irresponsible fathers. Or more importantly, the headline-grabbing fathers owing thousands of dollars in child support stories.
You should know there is another side of the story and it is a side of the story that I am too familiar with both, from a personal side and as a service provider for separated/divorced fathers. First, as a father I had to spend thousands of dollars in legal fees and navigate the legal system for the right to continue having a relationship with my daughter and finally to win court ordered custody. As the president/founder of Fathers With Voices, I have heard enough horror stories that I should contact Stephen King to write a horror movie. These men are often deliberately alienated from their child after the relationship ends with the child‘s mother. His presence is no longer wanted so he is disconnected from his child and all visitation is cut off. However, the child support case is kept open. Over 40 percent of fathers paying child support have no idea where the children live. Why? Mom has re-located to another state with no forwarding address. These men who are already fearful of the family court system turn to the only professional they feel that can help them-attorneys.
Instead of help from hired attorneys, many fathers find arrogant, robotic, insensitive and unprofessional individuals who care more about making as much money they can off of these fathers than providing a decent service. Attorneys in family matters charge as much as $800 per court visit and as a high as a $10,000 retainer fee for a custody case. Mind you, many of my clients are not rich but hardworking everyday people. So, that money is technically money they really do not have. Many are able to pay their legal fees by the help of family members and working more hours on their respective jobs. The number one and consistent complaint from fathers regarding attorneys is after spending thousands of dollars, they see very little progress in their cases. They hear statements from attorneys such as, “Your case is not the only case I have” in response to fathers requesting more clarity on the direction of their cases. In other words, “Shut up and just pay me my money.”
In response to 13 years and counting of hearing horror stories from fathers regarding attorneys, I have started a service that I hope will hopefully alleviate some of the pain of these men. Over the past decade I have obtained a wealth of knowledge pertaining to the family court system and ways men can be successful within the legal system. More importantly, ways to become better educated about the system and their rights. It will be a pre-paid service and one I know many men will find very beneficial and one that hopefully would keep men away from being taken advantage of by money hungry attorneys.
It is bad enough that these men must fight for the right to see their own children, but it is absolutely deplorable for men to go broke financially paying a professional he hired to help him stay connected to the very beat of his heart—his child.
Share this story with other fathers so they can receive the help they need and deserve!
Eric Legette is the CEO of Fathers With Voices Consulting Services. Contact him at www.fatherswithvoices.info.
As a wife and mother and advocate for fathers who have a right and want to be connected to thier child(ren), I was elated and pleased to read this article. Thank God for you Eric....for presenting the otherside...
Sis. Constant
Posted by: Darlene Constant | July 01, 2009 at 10:58 AM