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Peace.

Lessons from the Tragic Death of Whitney Houston

By DeShuna Spencer

Like many of you, instead of enjoying the unseasonably warm February weather on Saturday, I spent four hours cooped up in my house watching the funeral of Whitney Houston on CNN. Any of my close friends and family will tell you that I'm not the emotional type, but I wept during the funeral. I didn't know her personally, but I felt like I was one of the 1,500 people sitting in the New Hope Baptist Church pew. I saw similarities of family members and friends who died tragically within her story. Since learning of Whitney's passing, I have been mediating on her life. I wondered if more could have been done to save her. Over the years, whenever I saw negative articles or pictures of her online, I took time out of my day to say a little prayer for her. I was really pulling for her. I truly believed that she would eventually get over her issues, but it was not to be. Her life and untimely death was as heartbreaking as any tragedy William Shakespeare or Tyler Perry could ever write. Yet, even in the most unimaginable tragedy lies a lesson or two.

Love the Living

The speeches given by the people who knew Whitney the most were honest, heartfelt and sometimes chilling. She was obviously loved. I had no idea that Kevin Costner stuck his neck out to give Whitney the starring role in the Bodyguard or that she offered to sing back up on the tour of gospel group BeBe and CeCe Winans during the height of her career. As wonderful as those stories were, I kept wondering if she felt as loved while alive.

I hate funerals, so much so that I have already told my family that when I die (hopefully when I'm old and in my sleep), I do not want them spending thousands of dollars on flowers, a casket, a burial plot and the other items needed to "put someone away right." They can cremate me and scatter my ashes in an ocean. If they want to have some type of memorial, they can do so at someone's home or at a restaurant, no need for the fanfare. Let's face it. Funerals are for the living, not the dead. The person lying in the casket can't hear the fond memories of loved ones or smell the flowers placed next to them. Funerals are designed for those left behind to get some type of closure from a death (if there's such a thing).

When I was younger, I was petty. I would get bothered and depressed about little things. I used to take minor incidents that people said or did as a way to cut them off. When I was a freshman in college, my boyfriend was notorious for having a weakness for other women, and he started getting into a lifestyle that I didn't agree with. We argued all of the time about it, including during our last conversation. I spent most of my freshman year trying to save him. The day that I left my dorm for the summer, I got fed up and I made a conscious decision to take a break from the drama and stop praying for him. I went home to Memphis and we didn't speak for weeks. Then I got a phone call saying that he was murdered in a drug deal gone wrong. I was devastated. I had never cried so hard and so deeply for someone. He was only 19 years old. Looking back on that tragedy in my life, I can't believe that I stopping praying for him. What was I thinking? I'm not saying that I caused his death, after all he made some poor choices in his life, but there was nothing that he did to me that was so appalling that should have caused me to stop praying for him. It's been said that hindsight is 20/20. If only I had known how his life would have ended, I would have worked even harder to keep him alive and I would have at least let our last conversation be drama free. Unfortunately we don't have the luxury of knowing when someone will pass. The lesson in Whitney's death is to always show the people we love how much we truly love them while they can still hear you. Also, we should never give up on the "lost souls" in our lives. I gave up on my boyfriend. I don't know how hard Whitney's inner circle worked to save her so I can't speak for them. But I can speak for my own life. We all know one person—an uncle, classmate, friend, or cousin—who is gliding on the fringes of life; the one who we expect to get a phone call about in the middle of the night. We know that everyone can't be saved, but you never know the difference a phone call, a prayer or an unexpected visit can make. Let's never give up on the ones struggling with their inner demons.

Learn to Love Yourself

I was surprised to learn that Whitney had doubts about her looks and her abilities. As beautiful and as talented as she was, even Whitney felt as if she wasn't good enough. When we see celebrities with extraordinary gifts, it's easy to assume that they have no fears or insecurities and that their egos drive their success. But they're regular people just like us who face personal demons everyday as we do. Our vice may not be drugs or alcohol, but it could be an overindulgence of food, chain smoking, staying in an abuse relationship or self-mutilation. These are all forms of self-hatred. On the OWN Network, they aired the 2009 interview Oprah had with Whitney. She candidly shared how extensive her drug use was. There was a time when she smoked marijuana laced in "cocaine rock" every day. While the rest of the world viewed Whitney's voice as a national treasure, unfortunately she was destroying it with every puff. It's like Janet Jackson severely self-mutilating her dancing legs or author Alice Walker chopping off her writing fingers. I saw a clip of Whitney's performance with Kelly Price two days before she died. Her once angelic voice was raspy and obviously damaged. The day of her funeral, Whitney's vocal coach was interviewed saying that he was shocked at the condition of her voice. It made be think back to the Oprah interview. Whitney said that when she was using drugs heavily she never considered her voice. She had already been around the world and accomplished her wildest dreams. In her mind, there was nothing else to prove. Even though we were praying for her to come back, she had given up on herself. When I was in elementary school, Whitney's song "The Greatest Love of All" resonated with me. I was the children of the future she was talking about at time, even when I didn't see my future being bright. I've had issues with loving myself. As a child, I was depressed and wanted to die. I didn't think I was good enough or pretty enough or smart enough. I used to do things to myself as "punishment" whenever I thought I did something wrong. It was a twisted way to think...I know. After years of struggling mentally, I eventually overcame my inner demons. As an adult, life has actually gotten more stressful for me, but surprisingly I'm much happier. What's so sad about Whitney's death is the fact that she never fully conquered her inner demons. When did she forget the part of the song that said: "...learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all." It's not my place to judge her, so I won’t. We have all done things that are not what’s best for us. HIV is the leading cause of death among young black women, yet many still let it slide and allow their partners to go in without a rubber. We all know that blacks are more likely to get diabetes than their white counterparts, yet we still overeat and take in food that's unhealthy. It's a fact; seat belts save lives, but blacks and Latinos are least likely to wear them. If we look at our own lives, we can all do a better job at loving ourselves.

Judge Not

We always look at celebrities as if they don't have real problems because they're rich and famous. During the funeral, Whitney's longtime bodyguard and brother-in-law, Ray Watson, talked about how as consumers and fans, we should respect and love artists more instead of putting them down. He said Whitney loved her fans. So can you image how she felt when she saw gossip bloggers and fans ridiculing her. We can be so fickle; one day we’re praising you, and the next we’re judging you. One day you're viewed as being at the top of our game, and after one misstep, the next minute you're seen as a "has-been." Whether it's a friend on Facebook or a reporter at one of the big name publications, I've read my fair share of conspiracy theories and judgmental remarks on the cause of Whitney death and whether or not it was Bobby Brown's fault. After a while, I stopped reading all of the derogatory comments on Whitney and the incriminating articles on Bobby Brown. Sometimes I think we get wrapped up in the drama-filled lives of celebrities in order to mask our own shortcomings. I have too many of my own problems to be concerned with Kim Kardashian's short wedding, whether or not Rihanna and Chris Brown are back together or if Jay-Z and Beyoncé’s prevented other parents from seeing their new babies when they rented a floor of a hospital. Who cares? It's their lives, not mine. While African Americans are enduring record unemployment and minority children are being left behind in the classroom, why is my timeline on Facebook inundated with drawn out discussions about some celebrity? What a different world this would be if we spent as much time debating issues that truly impact our lives than we do gossiping about some celebrity or reality “star”. 

Final Analysis

As the pallbearers lifted Whitney’s casket out of the church at the conclusion of the funeral, I was overcome with sadness, but I also felt a new sense of self-awareness. The truth is we will all die one day. I know, it’s a scary thought. But knowing that our time is limited, whether we live to be 48 (like Whitney Houston) or 88, I don’t want to waste any of it. With all of Whitney’s struggles in life, she did a lot of things right. Despite the anxieties she had with her looks, she still agreed to pose for the cover of Seventeen Magazine. Even though she felt she wasn’t good enough, Whitney still took a risk and auditioned for the Bodyguard. How many of us can say that we push our insecurities aside to pursue our dreams. Even with her passing away at 48, she reached every career goal she set out for herself? When our time is up, will be people be able to say that about us?

We only get one shot at this life. There’s no do over. So we should make it our goal to love ourselves and cherish the people closest to us. Our lives should be mission-driven pursuing every passion and dream God put us on this earth to do. So my challenge for you today is to evaluate your own lives and relationships. What dreams do you want to accomplish? How will you treat yourself and your loved ones for now on? And most importantly, how do you want to be remembered?

 

DeShuna Spencer is publisher of emPower magazine.

Why Do We Always Talk About Teachers, Not Administrators?

By Matt Amaral

The discourse in education always disproportionately focuses on teachers, as if we are the root of all school evils. We never talk about ineffective Superintendents who make $250,000 a year but still need an $800 a month car allowance in a recession. We don’t complain about our School Boards who hire these Superintendents to five-year contracts, fire them after two years, then still have to pay out their remaining contract. We remain silent when they hire a replacement Superintendent to an even more lavish contract who they will also fire prematurely yet pay out for years. We let these kinds of circles go on forever, like the spinning beach-ball of death on an iMac computer. Instead, we continue to deride teachers, teachers, teachers—some of whom take home only $800 a month after paying for our ridiculous health benefits packages.

Yet we never talk about Administrators.

My high school has one principal and three assistant principals. Since the sixties this place has had one principal and three assistant principals. Except back then our school hosted only a few hundred students. Today, our four administrators handle a staff of 200 adults, as well as 2,000 students. There is no way they can do their job. Their job is pure insanity. It is the kind of job where you sit at your computer in the morning hoping to check your email and get to the stack of paper on your desk, but the phone rings as you take your computer off of sleep mode, and the rest of the day spirals into a nightmare of suspensions and screaming teachers and crying parents so that you don’t even sit back down at your desk until school gets out. By then you have twice as many emails and three times as much paper on your stack.

If we want to address what’s really at the heart of the problems in our public schools, we need to take a long look at how our schools are run. Forget about teachers for one second. We need to look at our districts, district officials, school boards, and superintendents—and at some point we need to turn the scrutiny toward principals.

Saying our administrators are overworked is like saying the candidates in the Republican primary are a bit weak—it is way worse than that. We need to take a close look at the responsibilities our administrators have, and ask them truthfully, “Can this be done by one human?”

I’ll give you a concrete example. Discipline at a high school is usually parceled out among APs so that when a kid gets in trouble, his last name determines which AP will handle him. This system creates confusion right away. Plus, the APs have so many other duties, discipline is just another sheet of paper on their desk they won’t be able to get to today.

When it comes to this one example, I can tell you the solution very quickly. We need one AP in charge of discipline—AND NOTHING ELSE. You call him the Dean, the Chief of Security, I don’t care what, but we need a Warden who works with the security staff and SROs to ensure our public campuses are safe. I use the word “Warden” very deliberately because the situation on our campuses is so severe the students and the teachers feel about as safe as prisoners at times. We’ve had a few teachers assaulted this year, and not one of the students has been expelled. One was moved to a different school in the district. And the student last week, the one who decided to shove his math teacher as hard as he could with both hands, is back on campus AND HAS THE SAME MATH TEACHER! We can’t even get students who assault us out of our classes, let alone off this campus. So when I say we need someone whose sole focus is discipline, I mean it. Otherwise we have a campus controlled by students and fear.

But here’s what we really need: 2 principals and 6 assistant principals.

Believe that.

Whoever thought up this undermanned four person administrative team didn’t have today’s public schools in mind. It would be like designing an offense for the Super Bowl with only a quarterback, a center, and one wide receiver. Except public education is more important than the Super Bowl, and society is at stake. Why do we continue with this outdated, ineffective farce? When we talk about changes in education, why don’t we ever talk about the people in charge? To continue the football analogy, we spend all our time complaining about the running backs and linebackers when we should be scrutinizing the coaching staff.

If I were superintendent of my district, I would do a couple of things very quickly: I would double the administrative team at each school and make sure discipline is being doled out equally across my schools with a Dean whose sole job is focused on keeping the campus safe. And if a student ASSAULTS a teacher, I would make sure they are expelled.

If you noticed, I’m not even getting specific in my grievances about the administrators I know. Honestly, it all comes down to the idea that I can’t really be mad at them because their job is impossible. Sure, they could do aspects of it better, but in the end it comes down to the fact that no human can do it well. We just need more humans.

But I’m not Superintendent, I’m just a teacher who seems to be the only one who has noticed our schools are being run by a skeleton crew who is outnumbered and overwhelmed.

In that way our administrators are a lot like teachers, only no one ever throws the blame their way.

 

Matt Amaral is a writer and high school English teacher from the San Francisco Bay Area. He received his undergraduate degree in English Literature from the University of California at Davis and an MFA in Creative Writing from National University. Matt is a featured Blogger at EducationNews.org, a leading international website for Education, and New America Media, the nation’s leading ethnic news organization. He is the former Editor-In-Chief of The Gnu Literary Journal. You can also read his work in the 2010 issues of TeachHub, emPower Magazine, The Dirty Napkin, Diverse Voices Quarterly, Eclectic Flash, Bird’s Eye ReView, TravelMag, Escape From America Magazine and InTravel Magazine.

Motivational Monday: 3 Signs Of Positive Focus And Personal Responsibility

By Adrienne, the Soul Power Coach™

One of the hardest lessons to learn is the lesson of taking personal responsibility for your life. Owning responsibility for exactly where you are and what your life is headed is a daily challenge. Even when you have a strong intention of being responsible for shaping your world, you can find yourself mired in negativity, blaming others, and spending all your energy fighting what you don’t want instead of working for what you do. Don’t miss this. It may seem like a very subtle distinction – it is a very important one. What you think about is what you bring about. If your thoughts, words and actions are centered on something negative, you will experience more of it. You are the one responsible for your current circumstances. Today is a reflection of your previous thoughts, words, and actions. So how do you know if you are being positive or negative? How can you take personal responsibility for creating a better future? Here are three sure signs of a positive focus and personal responsibility:

1. Using Positive Language

Pay attention to the words you speak and the language in your thoughts. The vocabulary you use is a dead giveaway to tell if your energy is positive or negative. How often do you speak with false positivity? Are you thinking and speaking about what you don’t want like stress, extra pounds, debt, problems, fear, haters, or sickness? Do not make the mistake of thinking you are being positive by placing ‘no’, ‘not’, ‘less’, ‘lose’ or any other qualifier ahead or behind. What your soul hears is negativity. What you are really bringing up is what you don’t want. Use words that are truly positive and represent what you want.

2. Paying Attention To The Present Moment

Bring yourself back into the present moment by taking a moment to notice what you are noticing. How are you feeling? What are you hearing? What is in your line of sight? You have heard it said that all we have is right now. Are you worrying about the future or lamenting over the past? It is important to know your history. It is important to plan for your future. The only place you can have an impact is in the present. Important as those other conversations are, the most important focus is where you are right now. Your power, your decision point, your change, your purpose is in right now. Stay present.

3. Owning Your Current Circumstances

When you are present in the moment and positive in your language, you can then begin to own your current circumstances. Whatever the situation, you have the power to do something different or continue doing or being the same. The question you want to ask yourself is am I living according to purpose in this circumstance? If yes, how do I continue? If no, what can I do differently right now to move closer to purpose?

Regardless of where you are, what you are going through, or what you want to experience, you have the power to be positive, personally responsible, and present in your life!

 

Adrienne, the Soul Power Coach™ is the founder of www.soulpowercoach.com and the “Sort Out Your Life in 30 Seconds with Soul Power Challenge”. Using the basic tools for living with Soul Power, Adrienne shows highly creative problem solvers how to stop struggling with variations of self sabotage like procrastination, disorganization, fear, resistance, and indecision. Many clients are seeking more meaning and clarity in their career. Her clients learn to embrace their unique life purpose and start taking consistent action on the big ideas they have about being of service to the world.

To learn more, request a complimentary Taste of Soul Power Coaching Conversation. This conversation is specifically designed to provide a listening ear and help you articulate your specific positive intentions & priorities for the next 6 months. You decide based on your intentions if you want coaching support to create the focus, consistency, discipline, balance, peace of mind, and joy required to follow through and achieve those results. To request your complimentary Taste of Soul Power Coaching Conversation and get a free Soul Power Pack of Life Area Cards, visit www.mysoulpower.net You may also connect with Adrienne, the Soul Power Coach on Twitter (soulpowercoach), Facebook (Soul Power Coach) , and Google+ (SoulPower Coach)

Motivational Monday: 3 Ways To Turn Tragedy Into Triumph

By Adrienne, the Soul Power Coach™

Life is short. Life is fleeting. Life can end coldly, abruptly, and unnecessarily. We know tomorrow is not promised to anyone. We are painfully reminded of this each time someone who has touched our lives is suddenly gone. We are all connected as one so you don’t have to have met someone or have known someone for their death to impact you. It is shocking, tragic, and sad. You may feel anger, denial, depression, frustration, or even fear.

My childhood musical heroes are dying and each one is more painful than the next. It seems as if this recent string of losses has just been one after another: Heavy D, Don Cornelius, Etta, now Whitney. There have been so many: Gil Scott, Vesta…I’m not sure I even named them all. It is numbing. It feels irrational. I did not personally know any of them yet my life would not be the same without the beautiful gifts they each gave to me. The questions we are left with can be overwhelming.

In a strange way, I feel disappointed. Heart disease, substance abuse, suicide, etc. – things were not suppose to end this way. I do not want their tragic end to be how they are remembered. In the same respect, I do not want to gloss over a tragic end with a celebration of life that does not deal with the issues that led them to such a transition from this life. We know many of these deaths can be prevented. Moving past this without doing something about it would be an even bigger tragedy.

How do you personally respond to an amazing life cut short in a way that pulls some good from such a terrible loss? What do you do with the time you have left? How do you move forward in a way that honors the impact they had while keeping others from a similar demise? I would like to suggest 3 small steps we can each take to turn a tragedy into a triumph.

1. Go Out Of Your Way To Encourage Hope In Others

I have heard so much about Soul Train line dancing to honor Don. What I have not heard is a real serious discussion about suicide among Black men. No, it’s not just about black men or the black community. We are all connected. You may not know who in your world is losing hope. You may be the one hanging by a thread. Begin to go out of your way to encourage people around you with a kind word or a friendly smile. You may not become famous like Whitney Houston; however, you do have the opportunity every day to shape the lives of people you will never know and may never remember with a kind word. That word could be the very thing that gives them enough hope to hang in there for another day.

It is impossible to stay hopeless when you are spreading hope and love to others. If you find yourself being the one in need of a word, take matters into your own hands. Give to others exactly what you need to receive. Speak life to the people around you and see how it impacts your feelings for the better.

2. Spread More Love Than Judgment And Condemnation

If you are on Twitter, Facebook or any other internet blog or site, by now, you have encountered someone who feels the need to judge others harshly or say cruel things in times of great tragedy. Don’t be him. No one needs to hear what coulda, shoulda, woulda happened. It is what it is. Unless you can breathe life back into the lost one with your criticism, keep it for another day. This is not the time. Instead, imagine yourself in their shoes. The greatest gift you can give to yourself and others is an attitude of love and compassion. Do what you can to understand why they felt there was no other choice. Remind yourself and others that there is always another choice.

We are human. Each one of us makes mistakes. Compassion accepts your current circumstances for what they are and allows you space to decide how to move forward in a better way. This is not coddling. This is understanding and love at its best. The more you speak on positive things, the more you bring positive things into your own life.

3. Do What You Can To Prevent Your Own Tragic End

Take the lessons of physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional healthy living and preventative care to heart in your own life. Even if you don’t have insurance – go schedule an annual visit to the doctor. Visit a local health fair or your county clinic. Find out what your own lifestyle risks are and DO something about them now.

No, you may not be a musical legend but there are people in your life that love and depend on you. Show love for the people that have and have not acknowledged how important you are in their life by taking care of your health and well being. Show love to yourself by taking care of yourself.

The best way to honor the lives lost it to prevent even one person from going down that same road. Actively look for ways to help others and do not forget to help yourself too.

 

Adrienne, the Soul Power Coach™ is the founder of www.soulpowercoach.com and the “Sort Out Your Life in 30 Seconds with Soul Power Challenge”. Using the basic tools for living with Soul Power, Adrienne shows creative thinkers like artists, engineers, and other problem solvers how to stop struggling with variations of self sabotage like pride, procrastination, disorganization, fear, resistance, and indecision. Many clients come to her seeking a more meaningful career. Her clients learn to embrace their unique life purpose and start taking consistent action on the big ideas they have about being of service to the world.

To learn more, request a complimentary Taste of Soul Power Coaching Conversation. This conversation is specifically designed to provide a listening ear and help you articulate your specific positive intentions & priorities for the next 6 months. You decide based on your intentions if you want coaching support to create the focus, consistency, discipline, balance, peace of mind, and joy required to follow through and achieve those results. To request your complimentary Taste of Soul Power Coaching Conversation and get a free Soul Power Pack of Life Area Cards, visit www.mysoulpower.net You may also connect with Adrienne, the Soul Power Coach on Twitter (soulpowercoach), Facebook (Soul Power Coach) , and Google+ (SoulPower Coach)

On Community

By kat calvin

Last week I moved from a swanky apartment in a recently re-gentrified neighborhood to the basement of a house in a neighborhood that is about one year into the re-gentrification process. These are your options in DC. I loved my old neighborhood. Columbia Heights has gone from being a part of town that was too dangerous to walk through at night to the home of a Target, a community fountain, and condos and apartments bordering New York prices. While they have by no means finished developing the neighborhood—and while many of the poor and minorities in the area have, and will continue to be, priced out of their own homes—at the moment it has reached a quiet equilibrium. On weekends in the summer, the fountain is the most diverse place in Washington, with black and white toddlers playing right next to the Latinos and gaybies.

Amid all of this diversity and yuppiehood there was a definite since of neighborhood, but not necessarily of community. Walking down the street, it’s impossible to mistake that you’re in Columbia Heights, but I lived there for a year and never knew who anyone was, from the guy on the corner to the girl living next to me in my building. Of course, being a city girl, this was fine with me. The worst thing about living in the rural South was that my neighbors knew my comings and goings better than I did. No thank you.

So now I’ve moved to H Street NE, which is facing the same re-vitalization that has and will hit almost every neighborhood in Washington. Yoga studios, swanky bars and sushi restaurants now sit beside the dollar stores, liquor stores and discount clothing stores that still dominate the landscape. The broken down buildings are being replaced with behemoth apartment complexes featuring all of the comforts of home that $3,000 a month can buy. A large, impressive grocery store is finally being built in what used to be a food dessert (because, of course, only rich white 20-somethings deserve to eat actual food). Even the city is chipping in, bringing a street car to a neighborhood that has never had a metro stop. I was recently invited to be the “youth voice” at a visioning session for the neighborhood’s newest developments and I had to laugh when I saw their vision for the new H St. The city will soon be unrecognizable. 

However, for now, H Street is still very much the 'hood. Old black men sit on the street drinking and talking from 8 am to midnight. A large, black BMW sits on the end of my street all day while people walk to the window, say a few words, walk away, walk to the window, say a few words, walk away. The young black guys in my cul-de-sac sit outside with the doors to their Buick SUVs and Escalade trucks open and yell “Shawtaayyyy” every time I leave my house. It’s like living in an episode of "The Wire." Except it’s DC, so the schools are worse. But there’s also Yvette, who lives across the street. Yvette ran over and hugged me when she saw me moving in. She introduced me to the family and said how glad she is that I was there (this may be because I am now the fourth roommate in a house full of the only white girls on the block. I don’t know). And the other day, she stopped me as I was walking into the house (she remembered my name), asked me in, and asked my advice on renting her basement apartment to “someone just like you.” It was weird…and wonderful. I’ve gone from hoping I don’t see anyone when I walk from my elevator to my front door to getting hugs when I move in and having people say “hi” when they’re talking outside. Even the guys yelling “shawty” as I walk out offer some amount of comfort. Not only is it a slight self-esteem boost (I mean, they could be ignoring me…), but I also know that I’m safe. That same group of guys yelling at me will also be the first ones to ward off an intruder or interfere if I’m being attacked. You might not believe it, but trust me, it’s the truth. It’s community.

It saddens me that this community is being torn apart to make room for more places for happy hours and pool parties, but at the same time, the re-gentrification is a boon for some of the residents. Yvette has lived in her house for over 20 years. One of her neighbors just sold his house for $320,000. Another? She’s listed hers for half a million. And Yvette just beautifully remodeled hers, she’ll be able to rent the basement to “someone just like me” for a lot more than she would have gotten two years ago.

We talk about this all of the time in a city changing as quickly as DC, but I wish there was a happy medium. As a young black woman who also happens to be a professional yuppie, I have the privilege of being able to fit in on both sides of the river but the added responsibility of wanting, and having, to work to ensure that while my yuppie needs are indulged I’m not taking advantage of the people to whom this city has always belonged. I can be simultaneously welcomed by Yvette while at an NAACP meeting the next day an older black man will yell at me about how all people who went to college are evil and can’t be trusted. And I might be taking advantage of the (relatively) low rent on H St to save a little money while I’m traveling so much, but I have to accept responsibility for the fact that I also frequent the swanky bars in town, get mad because there’s no decent coffee shop and am really excited about the new grocery store. How do you solve a problem when you’re part of it?

Far better writers have written far better articles about the struggles of being a black re-gentrifier, but for me, the payoff came when Yvette gave me a giant hug, and asked if I could help her find a tenant. I may not be able to fix the schools or lower the tax rates or stop the developers from kicking people out of their homes, but yes, Yvette, I can certainly help you find a good person to rent your basement. And if that’s all I can do, maybe it’s enough.

What YOU Can Do

• Attend community meetings in your neighborhood, you need to know what’s going on;
• Talk to your neighbors;
• Patronize black-owned and small businesses around you; and
• Stay informed on local politics.

kat calvin is a lawyer, a writer, and a businesswoman who is hopeful for the future of her people.

Abortion and the Black Community Part II: My Thoughts, Discoveries and Solutions

By Leah Trotter D’Antonio

Note: Last month, Leah Trotter D’Antonio wrote an objective article on abortion in the black community. Now, she is offering her personal insight on the issue.

Are we eliminating the potential of our people? Forgoing the hopes and possibilities of parenthood for career advancement and financial gain? How are we to build a nation when we continue to destroy the seed of our future at an alarming rate? Are we traveling on the road toward extinction? Is contraception truly out of reach and unaffordable for African-American women or are we simply making a conscious decision not to use it? If that is the case, then are we using abortion as a form of contraception? If so, why are we taking the risks by having unprotected sex? Furthermore, is it possible to be personally pro-life, but politically pro-choice? These are just a few of the questions surrounding the debate over abortion, particularly in the African-American community.

This complex issue threatens to plague and deeply impact the future of African-Americans. As a result, I was compelled to delve deeper into abortion as it relates to our community in order to uncover the true reasons behind why nearly a third of pregnant black women terminate their pregnancies. Are we being practical or is our behavior genocidal? The statistics show that about 47 percent of all pregnancies in the U.S. end in abortion. African Americans represent only 12 percent of the U.S. population. Yet, about 30 percent of all African American pregnancies end in abortion. We represent such a small piece of the population already and it would seem that we’re vanishing slowly like a candle lit at both ends. Through violent crimes and health issues, our numbers are diminished. We further limit our numbers through abortion, seemingly doomed to extinction. With this in mind, I wonder why we do it.

The Reasons Why

As you’ll recall in my previous article, 67 percent of pregnancies among African American women are unintended and abortion is highest among black women between the ages of 18 and 29. Abortions are more common among poor, minority women. The number of abortions peak within the 20-24 years age bracket. An overwhelming number of abortions are seemingly performed as a means of contraception. So, what are some of the other reasons why women, in general, are choosing to terminate a pregnancy? According to the CDC, 25.5 percent of abortions were performed because women wanted to postpone childbearing. More than 21 percent said they couldn’t afford to have a child. Another 12.2 percent said that they were too young to become parents and another 10.8 percent said they had an abortion to prevent a disruption to their educational or career plans. An additional 7.9 percent did not want to have any children or any additional children. Furthermore, less than 2 percent of all abortions performed in the U.S. were due to the health of the mother or the fetus and only 1 percent due to rape or incest. Generally speaking, 61 percent of abortions are obtained by women who already have one or more children

Why Not Anticipate Instead of Terminate?

Let’s face it: there is more at stake here than unintended pregnancies. According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC), “in 2009, black women accounted for 30 percent of the estimated new HIV infections among all blacks. Most (85 percent) black women with HIV acquired HIV through heterosexual sex. The estimated rate of new HIV infections for black women was more than 15 times as high as the rate for white women, and more than three times as high as that of Latina women.” African American communities continue to experience higher rates of other sexually transmitted infections (STIs) compared with other racial/ethnic communities in the US. The presence of certain STIs can significantly increase the chance of contracting HIV. Additionally, a person who has both HIV and certain STIs has a greater chance of infecting others with HIV.

Furthermore, the CDC also cites “socioeconomic issues associated with poverty, including limited access to high-quality health care, housing, and HIV prevention education, directly and indirectly increase the risk for HIV infection and affect the health of people living with and at risk for HIV infection.” But condoms are available in abundance at Planned Parenthood and other free clinics across the nation, free of charge. So, in the face of danger, why aren’t condoms used more?

A few of the main complaints people have about condoms are that they don’t fit well, they’re uncomfortable, they ruin “the moment” or hinder sexual sensation. For these reasons, the female condom was developed. Yet, they’re not mentioned nor are they promoted nearly as much as male condoms. Female condoms are worn inside of the vagina. Since men seem to have most of the negative experiences with condoms, female condoms are a safe and effective alternative to the male condom. Why aren’t they offering female condoms more at the free clinics? Is it because the people who are supposed to educate the community about safe sex are lackadaisical and aren’t keeping up with the latest information, surveys and statistics that affect their profession and, as a result, the community may be suffering?

Bearing the Scars of the Past?

One aspect of the whole abortion issue that is not commonly spoken or is all-out denied is the psychological impact of abortion. Although many of the studies conducted over the years show that there is no significant impact on the mental health of women who have had abortions, one researcher points out that the variables they were attempting to measure in these studies were qualitative in nature and difficult to universally define and as a result, made sampling difficult. So, the results from some of those studies conducted are, more than likely, unreliable and inaccurate. However, any surgical procedure can be frightening, whether is elected or medically necessary. And with all the noise that’s being created from both sides of the abortion debate, whether a woman is faced with the decision to have a child or to terminate the pregnancy is bound to experience internal dissonance, depression or confusion.

Keeping it ‘Real’

I can under why conservative leaders are crying ‘genocide’ and are on a mission to eliminate abortion in our community altogether. But, there’s one angle they’re missing—and that’s prevention. More than likely, conservatives are advocating abstinence, which is fine because, for so many, premarital sex is a moral dilemma. But, it has now become a community issue and we really need to pull our heads out of the sand. I believe that as parents and/or role models we do our young people a disservice when we only teach abstinence. We must get beyond our puritan ideals and face the reality that we should also teach safe sex to prevent unintended pregnancies, which might eventually eliminate abortion from our community. We can’t keep using the same methods to address a problem and expect a different outcome. These numbers require a radical change in direction. If male condoms are not comfortable, promote the use of female condoms. We need to teach our young people the responsibilities and consequences of being sexually active—all within the context of our beliefs and ideals in an honest and realistic fashion. Give them the unadulterated facts and let them make an informed decision every single time. Now, that’s a legacy worth leaving for our children.

My Solution to the ‘Genocide’

Ultimately, I believe that the conservative leaders have greatly enlarged the abortion issue in hopes that it would gain the attention that it deserves in our community. I truly believe that if the black conservatives want to make a meaningful impact on abortions in the African American community, you have to do more to prevent unintended pregnancies. Engage the local health departments, demand and/or provide better access to contraception. Teach safe sex as well as abstinence. The statistics show that only 3 percent Planned Parenthood’s services perform abortions. Most of their resources go to counseling clientele on birth control methods and providing screenings for preventative diseases and illnesses. So, attacking them and pointing the finger of blame is meaningless. They will still continue doing what they’ve always done—provide life-saving services that women from certain economic brackets would not have access to otherwise. I believe if black conservatives got serious about finding pragmatic ways to curtail the abortion rate without billboards used as a scare tactic and other political campaigns that rile against Planned Parenthood, significantly reduce the number of unwanted pregnancies in our community. Many see all of this as a way to limit a woman’s right to choose. But, before that woman became unintentionally pregnant, she was confronted with other choices: (1) the choice to use contraception or not to use it—knowing fully what the consequences could be or (2) to abstain altogether. As mature human beings, I believe it’s time to take responsibility and stop trying to blame others for our error in judgment.

This has been a personal excursion for me—an introspection of monumental proportion. In the process of this journey, I’ve discovered what side of the fence I’m on ...

‘I’m Leah Trotter D’Antonio and I am Pro-Life - personally and politically.’


http://www.apa.org/pi/women/programs/abortion/mental-health.pdf
http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/ss5212a1.htm
http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/fb_induced_abortion.html
http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/gpr/11/3/gpr110302.html
http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/aa/index.htm
http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/ss5212a1.htm
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/1467-9566.ep11347391/pdf
http://www.nhs.uk/livewell/contraception/pages/femalecondoms.aspx

Motivational Monday: 6 Steps to Living in Your Purpose and Power!

By Adrienne, the Soul Power Coach™

Consistently living in your purpose and power is how you create more meaning and satisfaction in your life. The more consistently you are on purpose, the greater happiness and joy you feel even when things are not exactly where you want them to be. You create greater confidence, organization, work-life balance, time management, joy, focus, relaxation, clarity, and calm in your life when you live in your purpose and power. Here are six steps to help you get into the habit of living in your purpose and power.

1. Take An Honest Look At Exactly Where You Are

The first step to living in your purpose and power is to know exactly where you are now. Imagine your purpose in life is to get to a particular destination on the planet. I’ll use Hertford County, North Carolina as an example. The first step to knowing how to get there –even before asking “Where the heck is Hertford County?” is to ask yourself “Where am I right now?” Take a good honest objective look at your current circumstances. Note the good, bad and the indifferent. You might discover that you are already standing in Hertford County, North Carolina and didn’t even know it. While you assess, it’s critically important to do this in a judgment-free zone. This is not about mulling over your life’s shoulda, coulda, wouldas. It is what it is for whatever reason it is. Do what you can to give yourself permission to be forgiving and unimpressed. The more energy you put into blaming, or even congratulating yourself for being where you are, the less likely you are to move beyond this first step. Eyes forward.

2. Create A Specific Vision For Where You Want To Be

Now that you have assessed your current circumstances, allow your heart and mind to create a vision for that area of your life based to your unique life purpose. What would life look like in this area if you were living in your purpose and power? Be specific in describing this desired state. Using the destination example, how will you know that you are in Hertford County? What does it look, smell, feel, sound, and taste like to be in that place where you want to be? The more specific you are according to your purpose, the more inspiration you will have in the latter steps.

3. Figure Out Why It Matters

Ok, so you decided to take a trip to Hertford County. Why on earth do you care about getting there? Chances are, you have not already reached your vision and the road ahead is paved with shiny distractions, unexpected detours, and serious discouragement. If you understand why it matters, you will have the inspiration you need to pull more focus, energy and determination from your soul when you need it the most. Spend some time thinking about the very personal reasons that you want to live in your purpose and power. Ask yourself why it really matters to you. People around you may not understand why it matters. You may even question yourself. Your soul understands your reasons on a higher level. Trust your intuition.

4. Set Your Priorities

How do you decide where you spend your time energy? When different areas of your life are in direct competition for your attention, how do you choose what gets done? Chances are, if you are committed to live in your purpose and power, there will immediately be some things in your life that pop up to challenge that commitment. There will be tough choices to make about how you allocate your resources. You cannot remain in New York if you are serious about getting to Herford. That’s not to say you can’t ever go back to the Big Apple. Your focus and energy for the moment must center on accomplishing your priorities. Do what is most important first. If you do, you will find that life often makes interesting accommodations for the rest.

5. Take Immediate Action

The longer you delay taking action, the more likely you are to find highly rational reasons - lame excuses not to move. The longer you wait to take action, the more likely life will get in the way. Don’t wait! Put your priorities first and start right now. What is the first step you can take? Go do it now! If you don’t know what step to take first, ask yourself “What seems like the most logical thing for me to do next if I am making decisions based on my purpose and power?” If it scares you, makes your knees buckle, or gives you butterflies in your stomach, you have probably hit the right mark. Do it.

6. Lather Rinse Repeat

Lather: Notice what’s bubbling. Take time to celebrate your progress and accomplishments Rinse: Take the lessons learned from your progress and apply them to create a blank slate in the present moment free from condemnations and congratulations. Repeat: Go back to step one and begin these steps of forward motion again. There is always room in your life to live with more purpose and power!

 

Adrienne, the Soul Power Coach™ is the founder of www.soulpowercoach.com and the “Sort Out Your Life in 30 Seconds with Soul Power Challenge”. Using the basic tools for living with Soul Power, Adrienne shows creative thinkers like artists, engineers, and other problem solvers how to stop struggling with variations of self sabotage like pride, procrastination, disorganization, fear, resistance, and indecision. Many clients come to her seeking a more meaningful career. Her clients learn to embrace their unique life purpose and start taking consistent action on the big ideas they have about being of service to the world.

To learn more, request a complimentary Taste of Soul Power Coaching Conversation. This conversation is specifically designed to provide a listening ear and help you articulate your specific positive intentions & priorities for the next 6 months. You decide based on your intentions if you want coaching support to create the focus, consistency, discipline, balance, peace of mind, and joy required to follow through and achieve those results. To request your complimentary Taste of Soul Power Coaching Conversation and get a free Soul Power Pack of Life Area Cards, visit www.mysoulpower.net You may also connect with Adrienne, the Soul Power Coach on Twitter (soulpowercoach), Facebook (Soul Power Coach) , and Google+ (SoulPower Coach)

The Power of First Fruits: The Power is in your Possession

By Chaplain Tyree Anderson

In a lecture entitled, The Power is in your Possessions, I presented to the Bethel Missionary Baptist Church during our series entitled, the Sacredness of Stewardship, I proposed that if you and I are ever going to become prosperous (spiritual, financial, physical, intellectual, social, and cultural) then it is incumbent upon us that we understand the power of First Fruits offerings. This is not an indictment on other preachers who have taught on this from a personal wealth position. The focus on this is not personal, but out of concern because I don’t want to be fooled into believing that is a difference between the First Fruits offerings and the tithes because there isn’t. Reading the text on First Fruits found dominantly in Deuteronomy 26 out of context and teaching such is both unethical and deceitful.  My concern is that we not only be truthful with the text, but also ethical within our exegetical reading of the text and applying it to edify the body of Christ and glorify our heavenly Father. Ethical exegetical readings on First Fruits mentioned in both Hebrew Bible/Old Testament and Greek Testament/New Testament requires us to remain faithful to the text and not include our personal feelings on the text.   Why must I stress this? The reason is because as pastors, preachers, and bible teachers we do an injustice to those who desire to be faithful disciples of Yahweh by misguiding them and even encouraging them to disobey the word of Yahweh by either stealing the tithe or misappropriating the purpose of the tithe.  Rev. Dr. R.B. Holmes, Sr. Pastor of the Bethel Missionary Baptist Church is animate about the church doing what Yahweh called us to do and that is to be faithful to the Spirit of Yahweh and immolate the person of Jesus the Christ. Through careful prayer, careful reading of the text, direct study, and keen research have come to understand that if you are going to worship, if you are going to touch the heart of Yahweh, if you are going to walk in authority, if you are going to reach your destiny you must bring the First Fruits of your harvest. In other words, you must bring the full tithe.

What are First Fruits? This is not the language we are accustomed to speaking with in the church. We don’t say First Fruits, we say tithes and offerings. There is a rich relationship between First Fruits and the blessings of Yahweh to obedient people who not only bring the First Fruits, but do it with a right heart, right intentions, and right desire. In the Hebrew Bible (Old Testament), First Fruits and liberation from oppressive powers by the mighty hand of Yahweh go hand in hand. Furthermore it is tied to the Land and land was based on the covenant between Yahweh and Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Theologically, land equated to the blessings of Yahweh, to the favor and hand of Yahweh. This is the foundation of First Fruits theology is birthed. Since land  was a manifested blessing of Yahweh’s love and support, Yahweh instructed them through Moses that when they entered the promised land, that they were to offer the First Fruits of the land unto the Lord because it was Holy. In Exodus 23:19, Yahweh declares to the people "The first of the First Fruits of your ground you shall bring into the house of the LORD your Yahweh.” Consider this, they were commanded to do this prior to entering Canaan (The Promised Land). They were required to bring not the second, third or leftovers, but the first of the First Fruits. Yahweh required the best from them because Yahweh had not only delivered them from Pharaoh, but also killed Pharaoh, every first born in the land and his entire military. In the eyes of Yahweh, Israel was special and according to Jeremiah 2:3 “Israel was holy to the LORD, the First Fruits of his harvest.”  Israel was obligated to offer the First Fruits of the land because Yahweh had delivered them from Egyptian slavery. The question today is what does this mean for us in the body of Christ in 2012 and beyond? There are three things I want to do to unpack this question.

Three Things I Want to Accomplish

First thing I want to do is connect land theology with kingdom theology. Secondly, I want to propose that the Bible does not differentiate between First Fruits and the tithe. Finally, I want to establish that when you participate in bringing the First Fruits, you have access to untapped power that will empower, endow, and help you endure this life.

Land Theology and Kingdom Theology

Since control of the land is the manifested blessings of Yahweh – then what is the Kingdom of Yahweh? The Kingdom of Yahweh is the ever-present power of Yahweh manifested in the lives of believers to empower, encourage, invigorate, and give them an enduring assurance that we are and will be victorious in the face of the evil and dark forces that control this world. It is both ontological and eschatological. This is identical to Land Theology. If Jeremiah is correct about Israel being the First Fruits of Yahweh’s harvest, then the church, the ekklesia, the called out ones are the First Fruits of Jesus Christ and Christ is the First Fruits of the new family that Yahweh has raised from the dead. The Church has been rescued from the pits of despair, delusion, doubt, destruction, and death. In other words, we have been rescued from Egypt. There is no difference in Land Theology and Kingdom Theology. In both, Yahweh is our redeemer and we are obligated to demonstrate our love and faithfulness because he has redeemed us. Yahweh took the Israelites and put them in Promised Land and Jesus via Calvary we entered the Kingdom of Yahweh. Because of that, we are obligated like the Hebrews to offer our First Fruits when we enter the land. So this divine directive from Yahweh to tithe is not a Hebrew Bible/Old Testament function, but a New Testament requirement that we bring the First Fruits.

First Fruits and Tithes

There are several verses that I want us to examine that will help us understand that First Fruits and tithes are the same. The first one is from the Apocryphal book of Sirach 35:10-13. It states, “Be generous when you worship the Lord, and do not stint the First Fruits of your hands. With every gift show a cheerful face, and dedicate your tithe with gladness. Give to the Most High as he has given to you, and as generously as you can afford. For the Lord is the one who repays, and he will repay you sevenfold.” In this passage the idea of generosity (giving) is tied to worship. Worship is incomplete without the offering of the First Fruits also called the tithe. When the First Fruits is a gift unto the Lord and when it is given it should not only be given generously, but with the right countenance. Paul reminds us in 2 Corinthians 9:7 that “each person should give what he/she has decided in his/her heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for Yahweh loves a cheerful giver.”  The tithe is Holy, it is dedicated to the Lord for the set purpose Yahweh has for the establishment of His Kingdom. The biblical model for giving is that the tithe comes to the priest – the pastor that Yahweh has put in Yahweh’s house of Worship (Jeremiah 3:15). The priest/pastor designates the direction the tithe should go. If the pastor should use the First Fruits not according to the will of Yahweh, then that pastor will answer accordingly to Yahweh. For us, according to the Sirach text, when you bring the First Fruits (Tithe) Yahweh will bless you sevenfold.  Ezekiel 44:30 supports this thought because your house is promised to be blessed.

In Proverbs 3:9-10 “Honor the LORD with your wealth and with the First Fruits of all your produce; then your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will be bursting with wine.” This verse addresses the movement from inner piety to the outward manifestation of worship. In the Hebrew context, to honor one means to esteem a person as having value and to declare him/her such to give him/her social weight or prominence. In this text, honor is not given in word, but in deed. The deed is giving the tithe from your wealth and prosperity. This why in Malachi 3:10 Yahweh reminds the wayward children of Israel to “bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. Yahweh has plenty for us when we recognize that from our First Fruits, our wealth, our weekly paycheck, our estate, our tax return, our inheritance, our lottery winnings (most of you play anyway), and whatever our increase is, we are required to bring the tithe. When we fail to bring the tithe, we bring disease, destruction, and death upon not only us but our household. In instructing the Hebrews in tithes, Moses writes in Leviticus 27:30-31, “Thus all the tithe of the land, of the seed of the land or of the fruit of the tree, is the LORD’S; it is holy to the LORD. If, therefore, a man wishes to redeem part of his tithe, he shall add to it one-fifth of it.” In other words, when one steals the tithe not only do you owe the original tithe now you owe it with 20% interest.

Where’s the Power

The power comes when we fulfill our act of worship by bringing the full tithing. If we live out Matthew 6:33 we will have access to untapped power because God not money, filthy lucre, mammon would be first on our agenda. We will have a Kingdom agenda. With that, Yahweh gives us power, authority, and dominion over every situation we find ourselves. We can call worlds into existence, build dynasties, rule kingdoms, and have control over events that would have at one time destroyed us. When we accept that fact that Yahweh owns everything we are given power. The power is not to gain more worldly things, but to operate in a Kingdom mission. We will have power to heal, power to save, power to give, power to love, power to forgive, power to encourage, power to be faithful and power to raise others from dead situations. The power comes not only through reading the text, praying, fasting, going to service, but when we bring our First Fruits also known as the full tithe.

 

 

Motivational Monday: 20 More Choices to Imagine, Ignite, and Inspire!

By Adrienne, the Soul Power Coach ™

1.    What if you decided to take what’s bugging you about that other person as a sign of something you need to work on within yourself?

2.    What if you began to move forward despite the fears?

3.    What if everything you need is already inside of you?

4.    What if you believed it was given to you before you asked?

5.    What if you are good enough?

6.    What if you did more of the things you say you want to do?

7.    What if you decided to stay present in every moment of the next week?

8.    How could you find a way to make it happen?

9.    What if you spoke with the authority and certainty of your abundance and power?

10. Who is in your life as a source of support for that achievement?

11. How can you bring more unspeakable joy into your life in this instant?

12. Where is there room to make space for more love and light in your day?

13. What could you do differently if you were willing to stand up for yourself?

14. How are you incorporating peace into your spirit today?

15. What will it feel, sound, smell, look or taste like when you reach your intended result?

16. How bold, brave, and courageous can you be for the next 5 hours in facing your biggest fear?

17. What more could you accomplish if you allowed them to own their own choices?

18. Who can you thank for touching your life that does not know they have made a difference?

19. What if you worked like what you wanted was just around the next corner?

20. What if you chose to notice how it is working out for the best?

 

Adrienne, the Soul Power Coach™ is the founder of www.mysoulpower.net and the “Sort Out Your Life in 30 Seconds with Soul Power Challenge”. Using the principles of living with Soul Power, Adrienne shows creative thinkers like artists, engineers, and other problem solvers how to stop struggling with variations of self sabotage like pride, procrastination, fear, resistance, and indecision. Many clients come to her seeking a more meaningful career. Her clients learn to embrace their unique purpose and start taking action on the big ideas they have about being of service to the world.

To learn more, request a complimentary Taste of Soul Power Coaching Conversation. This conversation is specifically designed to provide a listening ear and help you articulate your specific positive intentions & priorities for the next 6 months. You decide based on your intentions if you want coaching support to create the focus, accountability, peace of mind, balance, and joy required to achieve those results. To request your complimentary Taste of Soul Power Coaching Conversation and get a free Soul Power Pack of Life Area Cards, visit www.mysoulpower.net You may also connect with Adrienne, the Soul Power Coach on Twitter (soulpowercoach), Facebook (Soul Power Coach) , and Google+ (SoulPower Coach)